There’s an image I’d really like to include with this post, but it includes some not so savory language. So I’ll just give you the gist. It depicts the formula for hater-ish behavior on the internets, factoring in anonymity and audience that ultimately transform an otherwise normal individual into a total jerk (for lack of a better four letter word). Indeed, if you’ve spent more than several days of your life on the web (and we know you digital enthusiasts certainly have), you’ll have seen this formula play out probably more often than you even realize. And it’s because of this that I have no interest in ever being part of a new web offering called Unvarnished.

Launched in private beta on Tuesday, Unvarnished touts itself as a “an online resource for building, managing, and researching professional reputation.” Of course, what that doesn’t tell you is that it’s only a resource for doing all of that through user critiques contained only on its site, as opposed to the rest of the interweb. The idea is that you sign up, begin creating profiles of professionals you’ve supposedly worked with (though there’s nothing to stop you from creating a profile for anyone in the world regardless of whether you’ve even met them), and posting anonymous, “honest” critiques of those people (in turn, others can do the same for you).

It’s sort of like LinkedIn, in that these critiques are essentially LinkedIn recommendations, only because they’re anonymous, Unvarnished believes (and rightfully so, I think) that users will be more objective and less obsequious in their reviews. Only, unlike LinkedIn recommendations (and like herpes), Unvarnished reviews never go away. Even if you discover that someone has posted something completely false, offensive and potentially tortuous, the best you can do is post a response to that review, combating the claims the reviewer made about you.

Of course, Unvarnished accounts aren’t totally anonymous. In order to sign up and start posting reviews, you have to link your Facebook account to your Unvarnished presence. But that only provides those behind the scenes at Unvarnished with the ability to discover your identity, not the users who you will ultimately “review” (since that would defeat the site’s entire purpose for existing).

Other reviewing tools you’ll find on Unvarnished include the ability to rate reviews (out of 5 stars), and reviewer scores to help you determine how trustworthy that user’s reviews are (trustworthiness is determined by other user’s feedback on that users reviews). And, as TechCrunch points out, reviews from user accounts linked to fake Facebook accounts will be blocked, and reviews that contain information that is obviously false and implicates illegal conduct will be flagged and summarily sent to the internet reviews trash heap in the sky. But that doesn’t really seem to prevent users from posting unnecessarily negative (and potentially false) reviews. Not to mention, you have to keep in mind that people will often portray their own opinions of what others have done as facts.

Apparently Unvarnished’s founders believe that people will suppress the urge to flame their former boss or their former cube mate, and provide while not glowing reviews, at least balanced ones. Conversely, having blogged/tweeted/whatever else on the internet for years now, I believe that they’re living in a dream world. In my opinion, giving users the ability to anonymously review people will only draw the most biased of responses. And since most positive critiques are posted on LinkedIn (likely in exchange for the same from the recommended indivdiual), I’d guess that Unvarnished will become little more than a place to trash people’s professional prowess’s and reputations.

Don’t get me wrong, there are probably a number of people I’ve worked with in the past who I would gladly give my candid thoughts about in a less permanent form like say, just talking to someone. But even I don’t feel that I’d like to contribute these to a another person’s professional permanent record, if you will. Plus, how detailed can you get without that person knowing who wrote the review? Unless you keep your review at an extremely general level, the person you’re reviewing may be able to tell that you’re the one who left the review, and then you’ve made another enemy that you may not have had before.

Anyway, I’m sure there are plenty of people out there who will be more than happy to participate in this type of online community, but I guess I’m not one. Nevertheless, I’m a firm believer in discovering whether something is right for YOU by checking it out yourself. So if you’re interested, you can either sign up and get in line for an invite to try out Unvarnished’s private beta, or if you’re privileged enough to know one of its 1000 alpha testers, you can prod that person to send you an invite to check it out. Either way, feel free to let us know your thoughts!

And for more on Unvarnished, check out its “About” and “Community Guidelines” pages, as well as  TechCrunch’s post.